perspective shifts that can change your life

A perspective is a point a view. But just like thoughts and beliefs, perspectives aren’t fact and aren’t set in stone - they can change at any time. You can think of it as looking through a certain lens then switching out the lens to a different one to have a different view. 

The perspectives you hold have such an influence on how you show up and move through the world, how you react to things, the decisions you make, and the outcomes you experience. 

Needless to say, changing perspectives can have a great impact on your life. And for those of us who want more for ourselves, this is necessary :). 

As a disclaimer, this is a list of perspective shifts that can make a great impact based on my own opinion. I don’t have a spreadsheet full of data or a list of scientific articles to back up this list.

So here are (IMO) some of the most impactful perspective shifts: in no particular order

You get to choose what you believe

This is huge. YOU get to choose what you believe. I could write a whole article on this one alone, and I probably will, because it can be applied in such a variety of ways. You get to decide what you believe is hard. You get to decide what you believe about yourself. You get to decide what you want to believe about life. You get to decide what you believe about what you can achieve and what opportunities are available to you.

Being growth oriented

Challenges help us grow. Hard things help us grow. Change helps us grow. We can unintentionally block ourselves from doing/following through with things because we hold the perspective that they’re hard and challenging. We also could be quite aware that we’re shying away from something because it seems hard or challenging. But when we’re growth-oriented, it can help us approach challenges, difficulties, and change differently. It can help dilute the negative feelings we have toward these. It can even make us excited for them.

If they can do it/have it, so can I

I’m not sure if this is a famous quote or example, but it’s in my head and I love it so much. If you’re at a restaurant and you see a delicious meal dropped off at the table next to you, you don’t go “oh darn, they’re so lucky. I wish I could’ve had that.” You say “Oh that looks so good, I want that too!!” You can use this same perspective with anything else. You notice someone who has something you want? You can have it too. You notice someone has achieved the kind of success you desire? You can have it too. This can go for actual objects, relationships, circumstances, lifestyles, goals, career achievements… nearly anything. The next time you notice jealousy or wishing you had something someone else does, realize you can create that opportunity for yourself as well.

Messing up is just a learning opportunity

Nearly anything can be a learning opportunity. Some of the most helpful shifts come from taking what you would normally view as a failure, a mistake, or being wrong as simply a learning opportunity. Notice when you’re brain is feeling that way and ask yourself “what can I learn from this?” Keep in mind that success ONLY happens through many failures along the way.

How is this happening for me?

We can live life through perspectives of being a victim to circumstances, or we can choose to take the perspective that things are happening for us. This one can be a bit hard to digest, but let it sink in and think about where you might be able to apply this to your own life.

Not taking things personally.

Easier said than done, right? A large majority of what people do, how they react, and how they feel comes down to what’s going on in their inner world. It’s based on their own beliefs, perspectives, previous experiences, and how stressed and rested they are. When you notice yourself making it about you (taking it personally) when there’s a really good chance it’s not, you can catch yourself and reframe the situation.

Take a neutral perspective

We tend to get wayyy too caught up in labels and attaching meaning to things THAT WE ARE CREATING OURSELVES. Notice where your brain is attaching meanings such as good, bad, right, wrong, correct, truth, hard, healthy, unhealthy, etc. and try on a neutral perspective instead.

No one else is going to save you.

This will hit differently depending on where you are currently in your own journey and is worth revisiting (but tbh, all of these are). And depending on your own circumstances, the meaning of this can look a little different, too. The main point of this is many of us spend our lives hoping our lives will change. That someone/something will help us heal, change, be successful, reach our goals, or even become happier. We have to take responsibility for our own lives for as much as we do indeed have control over. We can spend our lives hoping, dreaming, waiting, wishing… or we can take matters into our own hands and choose to truly show up for ourselves

Rejection is protection.

Think about a time or someone else’s story where something didn’t work out for you/them and afterwards it ended up to be a blessing. This happens ALL THE TIME and I really believe this is such an empowering reframe. When someone isn’t interested in you, doesn’t want to date you or be your friend, if you get turned down from an opportunity, view that as protection (you can see it as protection from the universe, God, or whatever aligns with your beliefs if you want). Not being chosen by someone or for an opportunity doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough or that there’s something wrong with you, this just wasn’t for you and something better is coming along. Now, don’t use this as an excuse to not look at where you have room to grow, communicate better, hone in on your skills, be more optimistic, etc. Be able to see where you could have put more effort or what you could learn to do better in similar situations in the future, but know that whatever form of rejection you’re experiencing was protection from who knows what.

You’re not responsible for other people

This one is probably pretty hard for most people, but it’s like taking a massive boulder off your shoulders when you abdicate responsibility for others’ reactions, responses, emotions, and actions. Again, this is not excusing you from your own responsibility. How you communicate with others, how you react, how you respond, your behaviors, and how things make you feel is YOUR responsibility. You should strive to communicate well, be respectful, help others, pause before reacting, etc. Taking responsibility for others is putting a huge, unnecessary weight on you that can only hinder how much you are able to show up for yourself and everyone around you while also not allowing the other person to step into their own full self-responsibility.

I am exactly who I am meant to be

Leaning into the idea that you are who you are (personality, physical appearance, desires, likes/dislikes and all) for a reason is so helpful in letting go of narratives that you’re not good enough, that you need to be fixed, or that there’s something wrong with you. Wishing we were different, that we were more like someone else doesn’t really do much for us. We can always work on bettering ourselves, but that can come from a place of wanting to show up as the best version of who we are rather than trying to get rid of who we are. Being a happy, confident, empowered version of you is (IMO) how you’ll make the best and biggest impact on the world and those around you, and this perspective supports becoming that version of you.

So there you have it.

Shifting these perspectives can make such an impact on your life. There are SO many more, especially in specific areas and contexts, but these are some general ones that can help impact your life as a whole.

You may feel some resistance towards shifting your perspective because… well, you’re so used to the perspectives you’ve had for so long. It feels weird to change. But we don’t have to take it so seriously.

Think of it as being like going shopping, you’re picking out some new perspectives, going into the fitting room, trying them on, and seeing how they fit and how they feel. And just like with clothes, you may find the first time you put something on that’s so different from what you’re used to it’s quite uncomfortable, but that’s just because it’s not the style you’re used to. After you take it home and put it on a few more times you may realize you love how you look and feel in it. Or maybe you realize while you were ready to step out of your comfort zone, this wasn’t the right piece for you and you can take it back. The same goes for perspectives. Choosing to change your perspective doesn’t mean anything is set in stone or that you’re committed to it for life. You always have the ability to change them :).