Overcoming resistance
Have you ever said you were going to work out and when it comes time to you just do NOT feel like it?
Or maybe you’ve had a work task that you avoided like the plague?
Or maybe you decided you wanted to be the kind of person who journals, or meditates, or makes breakfast… just to find yourself coming up with excuses to not do it.
That my friends, would be resistance stopping by to hang out.
I believe knowledge and understanding is a massive component of changing our habits and behaviors and becoming our best selves, so understand that resistance is completely normal.
Resistance is to be expected. Our brains don’t love change, uncertainty, or the unknown. Meaning, when we start trying to change our habits and behaviors a red flag starts going in our brain to say “uhhh hey, what’s going on… this is different than what we’re used to.” Your brain is just trying to protect you in its own (often unhelpful) way.
You could be experiencing resistance for a variety of reasons - the discomfort of change being one of them.
The title of this blog is misleading as the point isn’t necessarily to overcome resistance. Even if you do for one task or in one area, you will continue to experience resistance throughout your life.
The point is to be able to notice resistance and know how to navigate doing the thing anyway.
Quick disclaimer: If you are experiencing a heightened sense of resistance to something in particular, don’t ignore this. Look into why this might be. Maybe this particular thing is just not the thing for you. Maybe you need to approach it differently or change what you’re doing to something that has the same or a similar outcome. Maybe there are deeper beliefs or fears for you to look at and address.
The first step with resistance…
Notice it’s there. We can so easily brush not following through with an action off of our shoulders without realizing we were just experiencing resistance. You could be laying on the couch, see it’s time to go work out, not feel like it, not do it, and then realize later you didn’t follow through with working out. What (in most cases) really happened was you had resistance to going to work out and abided by that momentary feeling without much awareness.
Understand that you can experience resistance and still do the thing. Recognize the resistance and decide how you want to move forward.
Being able to manage your mind is the most important life still IMO. This is how you get in the driver’s seat of your own life and are able to create the change you desire. Listen to what your brain is saying, challenge those thoughts, and find a more helpful way to frame things.
For example, you can notice when your brain is saying things like “I’ll just do it later” or “I don’t want to do this” and you can challenge these thoughts. You can choose different, more helpful thoughts like “I know if I try to put it off I just won’t do it, so how can I start taking action now?” or “I may not feel like working out at this moment but I know I’ll feel so good afterward and I have goals I really want to stick with.”
Here are tools you can add to your toolbox to help you move forward when you’re experiencing resistance:
In no particular order…
Remind yourself that you don’t have to believe your thoughts and choose to challenge them. You can ask yourself: ” is that true?” or play devil’s advocate with yourself.
Ask yourself why you do want to do the task or get yourself to think about an aspect of the task you do enjoy.
Ask yourself: What would my future self thank me for doing? What would my future/ideal self do in this scenario?
Focus on how you’ll feel after you’ve done the action.
Ask yourself what thoughts or emotions would get you to take action, and how you can evoke those.
Explore how you can make the task more fun or interesting.
Lean into a value of yours that correlates with the action (your health, spending less, feeling energized, taking care of your body, being a better you for your loved ones, etc)
Start taking small actions toward what you’re trying to get yourself to do.
Find a reward that you only do when you’re engaging in the task (such as only watching a show you like while you do laundry or run on the treadmill).
Seek out accountability from a friend, partner, or coach.
If you don’t follow through with the initially intended task, find a way to keep some semblance of the task in your routine.
If the above feels like too many options to keep in mind right now pick one or two to use the next time you notice resistance. Screenshot the options you choose or write them down somewhere you can easily reference them!
and If you want to take it a step further…
Make a game plan for yourself. This won’t take too long and we’ll do it together here.
Write down (yes, write it down somewhere… trying to keep everything in our head doesn’t tend to work out well, no matter how much we convince ourselves it’ll work for us lol) something you recognize you tend to experience resistance with (going to work out, cooking food, tidying your house, paying bills, etc).
Now that you’ve written that down (since you did indeed write it down ;) ), write out two options from the list above for what you will do when this happens.
Example 1: I notice I experience resistance to cooking dinner.
When I notice resistance to cooking dinner I will think about how I’ll feel after it’s done, that my future self will thank me, and I’ll make it more fun by playing my favorite playlist as I cook.
Example 2: Experiencing resistance to working out.
When I notice resistance to going for my planned workout, I will think about how I like feeling strong, accomplished, and like a badass and/or I start taking steps toward working out by putting on my shoes and grabbing my keys, etc.
No matter what you choose, I recommend getting into the practice of challenging your thoughts. Let’s say my brain is saying I really don’t want to cook dinner. What if that wasn’t true? What if I do want to cook dinner? What if I want to cook dinner because I’ll enjoy having the meal, I’ll save money, it won’t take that long, and being the person who cooks at home is the type of person I want to be? Or if your brain is saying it’s going to take so much time, is that true? Play devil’s advocate with yourself :).
If you’re ambitious and have goals, but tend to get in your own way and struggle to see the results you desire, coaching may be for you. You can fill out the interest form here or email me at briannafrench@briannafrenchcoaching.com if you have any questions!