A mindset that can help you stop falling off track

Out of my interest and desire to better understand how we can get ourselves to do the things we wish we would and change in the ways we want, I spend a good amount of time observing, learning about, and reflecting on human behavior.

One thing I’ve observed time and time again in those who stick with something is that they often treat it as a non-negotiable.

Take a behavior you want yourself to follow through with more often, be it going to the gym, walking, making breakfast, journaling, cooking at home instead of ordering takeout, reading each day, etc.

Thinking about this behavior/action, what stops you from following through with it?

Do you not do it if you don’t feel like it? Do you feel like you lack motivation?

Does your brain come up with excuses or promises of doing it “later” or “tomorrow?

No judgment if that’s the case - it happens to all of us. Welcome to being a human :).

But I want to plant a seed for you…

What if you were to do the thing even when you didn’t feel like it?

What if whether you felt like it or not wasn’t a factor in following through with the action?

Let’s take going to the gym as an example... Think about individuals who in your head are great at going to the gym consistently. Have you created the story that they are always motivated and feel like going?

It may seem that way, but it's not the case. I know quite a few people who consistently stick with their workout routine and I can tell you that I don’t know a single person who doesn’t struggle with a lack of any desire to go sometimes.

What these individuals don’t do is let that stop them… a majority of the time, at least. They’ve chosen, whether consciously or not, to make keeping up with exercise a non-negotiable. It’s not something they let themselves debate and they choose to go even when they don’t necessarily want to.

Coming back to the behavior you thought of earlier...

What if you saw that action as something that wasn’t up for debate or negotiation? What if you saw it as something you were not open to having a mental dialogue about?

What if when thoughts of not feeling like doing it or an excuse to push it off came up you didn’t even entertain or give them attention? What if you just let them float by like a cloud in the sky and didn’t assign any meaning to them?

Or what if when you did entertain those thoughts, you counteracted them with thoughts that would direct you toward taking action anyway?

For the sake of providing you with helpful ideas, when it’s time for me to workout and I hear my brain say “I don’t feel like it, I don’t need to go today,” I notice those thoughts and then decide to choose thoughts like “I want to be the person who stays consistent with her exercise routine” or “I love feeling strong and know I’ll be glad I did it so I’m just going to go.” And that’s it. Discussion closed. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Putting it into practice

Realize that viewing things this way, having more awareness of our thoughts/mindsets, being able to not let our thoughts dictate our actions, and being able to notice when our thoughts are unhelpful and change them to more helpful thoughts are all skills that can be gained and improved. It just takes effort and practice :).

• Let the action/behavior you want to get yourself to do become a non-negotiable for you.

• It doesn't have to be the full, ideal action. For example, you may choose to make moving your body in some form or fashion for a set amount of time each day your non-negotiable rather than going to the gym for a workout.

• You can always aim to do more, but the non-negotiable might be a simpler action or just a portion of what you're truly aiming for.

• You can notice thoughts of not wanting to do the thing without entertaining them or letting them mean anything. You can shift your focus to why you do want to do the thing or to an action that will snowball into you doing the thing.

It may take a little bit of trial and error to find what works best for you, but that's such a great opportunity to learn more about yourself and what helps you manage your own mind and follow through with behaviors :).